Tag Archives: Father Christmas Spam the Cat’s First Christmas

Interview with Spam, vampire slayer, computer genius and loving pet….

27 Feb

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Today I have a special guest on my blog. Welcome to Spam. Spam is a beautiful orange Maine Coon with a very important mission. Let’s hear from the tom himself.

 

AHP: Spam thank you so much for allowing me to interview you. You live in a house with your siblings and many other cats. Do you enjoy the crowd or would you prefer to be an only cat?

 

SPAM: Thank you, AHP. Honestly, since I got my personal entrance so I can go in and out of the house at will, I really enjoy the company of the other cats. My mom and the brothers who live with us keep me grounded and since my housemates are mostly rescue cats, each has his or her own experiences and insights into how the world works. They have helped me solve the supernatural problems Port Deception has been experiencing ever since that lady wrote about sparkly vampires taking over the Olympic Peninsula.

 

AHP: When you were born Darcy, your care taker, held you before you eyes were even open. Do you attribute this to the fact that you are closer to her than the other cats?

 

Spam: Spam: Darcy holds any of us who will let her and knows all about how much kittens need to be socialized, so while I am very special to her, and always have been, it’s more because I am super intelligent, sensitive, and skilled–well, that and orange tabby–that she loves me so much more than any cat in the whole entire world. I know because she tells me so all the time. Of course, I’ve heard her tell my housemates the same thing, but I know she’s lying. Of course, she likes me best.

 

AHP: You were able to learn ‘puter skills at a young age and you understand humans when they speak. That’s quite a feat for a feline. To what do attribute this ability?

 

Spam: The ‘puter skills are not hard for kittens to pick up these days, really, especially since tablet ‘puters started putting on games for cats, but I think because my housemates and family are so social and addicted to the Critter Channel on TV, they didn’t bother to learn. I have taught my little sister who lives with other people how to use email though. We can ALL understand what humans say–it just depends on if they have anything to say worth listening to.

 

AHP: In Spam vs the Vampire you save Darcy from the clutches of a vampire. Is there a highlight, scary or scarier, from the experience that you would like to share with the readers?

 

The scariest part for me was at the beginning, when we were all locked in the house with the food and water running out and Darcy had not been home for a long long time and nobody knew we were by ourselves. Once I got out and went looking for her, the scariest part was when the Vampire Marcel put her in that coffin. Then the part where I had to hide on the raft was pretty scary too. Oh, and when I climbed my first tree and couldn’t get down and then the eagle was going to carry me to her nest to get eaten–it’s a good thing I have my old man’s gift for gab or I would be eaglet food now.

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AHP: Darcy gets into another predicament in The Tour Bus of Doom. She seems to attract weird types. Why do you think that is?

 

Spam: Just the one vampire really, AHP. The tour bus full of zombies came by themselves, when the bad man smuggled them back to town. And to be fair, some of them were residents who’d been turned into zombies and had a perfect right to be in Port Deception. Darcy only got involved when the neighbor hoodoo’d her. Still, it’s a good thing she’s got me to protect her from all that weird stuff.

 

AHP: Your house mate Rocky had a ‘change’ since the vampire episode with Darcy. Has this change brought you closer?

 

Spam: Yeah, it kind of has. Rocky had a rough time before Darcy adopted him and he was something of a fraidy cat and always full of stories about how awful it was outdoors. But it turned out he was just kind of shell-shocked from what he’d been through out there, what with coyotes chasing him all the time and stuff. He wasn’t a coward at all. When the vamp came and tried to burn down our house, Rocky, out of all the cats in the house, was the only one to stand up to The Vampire Marcel. He attacked Marcel with all fangs and claws deployed, drove the vamp out and saved everybody. But in the process, he bit Marcel and Marcel bit him. That’s how he accidentally became a vampcat. He and I are the only cats who can go in and out as we please and he loves hunting coyotes so he’s sort of air support when I’m out on the town. Plus, we enjoy doing horror movie nights together while Darcy and the other cats are sleeping. It’s good background research on monsters. Sometimes he rips open a packet of treats for us to share. We love that popcorn shrimp snack.

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AHP: In your book Father Christmas, about your first Christmas, is there any memory that stands out, looking back?

 

Spam: Well, rescuing the kitten from the owl of course, and then meeting my old man face to face and having the chance to get to know him after he was trapped and waiting in the shelter for the vet to come. And seeing Marigold on the day she was born! That was special. Hmmm, then finding out my raccoon assistant detective was engaged in illegal and anti-Christmas activities. I don’t know why I was surprised, but I was.

 

AHP: Spam, thank you so much for your time. I am looking forward to your next adventure.

 

Spam: Thank mew, AHP. Tell Zvonek and Metaxa hi for me.

 

AHP: Certainly Spam. Thank you very much.

 

Spam appears in person on all his covers, so you can see what a beautiful cat he is.

 

Where to buy his advetures.

Links:

http://www.amazon.com/Spam-Vs-Vampire-Cat-ebook/dp/B004XD6YCI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361941593&sr=8-1&keywords=spam+vs+the+vampire

 

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Apocalyps–Purranormal-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B009I3WMGA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1361941645&sr=1-1&keywords=the+tour+bus+of+doom

 

http://www.amazon.com/Christmas–Spam-Christmas-Adventures-Emancipated-ebook/dp/B007307Q52/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1361941690&sr=1-1&keywords=father+christmas+spam+first+christmas

 

For more information on author Elizabeth Ann Scarborough please visit her page at: http://www.gypsyshadow.com/ElizabethScarborough.html#top

 

 

 

Father Christmas….

23 Nov

Welcome to the GSP Christmas Promo and first author up is Elizabeth Ann Scarborough.

Scarborough is the author of 22 solo fantasy and science fiction novels, including the 1989 Nebula award winning fantasy novel, Healer’s War, loosely based on her service as an Army Nurse in Vietnam during the Vietnam War. She has collaborated thus far on 16 novels with Anne McCaffrey, six in the best selling Petaybee series and eight in the YA bestselling Acorna series, and most recently, the Tales of the Barque Cat series, Catalyst and coming in December 2010, Catacombs (from Del Rey). Her last published solo novel was CLEOPATRA 7.2, soon to be re-released for e-Book download and print on demand under the Fortune imprint of Gypsy Shadow Publishing.

The book we are highlighting for this post is Father Christmas.Where Ms Scarborough shares the spotlight with a delightful feline called K.B. Dundee. This story is dedicated to Kerry Greenwood and Karen Gillmore, whose encouragement has kept me writing and whose friendship made the holidays happy. To add to the festive theme there are several black and white interior illustrations depicting the characters in the book as Christmas ornaments.

The proceeds of this book from whatever source will be donated to the Humane Society of Jefferson County for the benefit of the animal shelter.

Father Christmas: Spam the Cat’s First Christmas

Spam the cat thought he’d seen a lot of the world in his nine months of life. After all, he was the foremost vampire hunter of Port Deception, WA. (SPAM VS THE VAMPIRE) ! This was his first Christmas, however, and from what he’d heard on TV, on Christmas all was supposed to be calm, all was supposed to be bright. The deer and Renfrew the raccoon had other ideas however. In an attempt to keep Renfrew, aka “The UPS Bandit” from ruining a lot of Christmases, Spam begins a task that leads to him being the sole protection of a new mother and child, and a less-than-warm-and-fuzzy reunion with his feral father. Altogether, his first Christmas eve is a less than Silent Night.

Excerpt:

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse. Rats! While I’d been out chasing vampires and zombies, my furry housemates had hunted all the fun prey. Now my fourteen feline roomies were all asleep, our human mom Darcy was gone for the weekend leaving us on our own with just a cat-sitter coming in to feed us, and I felt restless. I was nine months old, and this was my first Christmas.

It felt like something ought to happen. It felt like something was going to happen, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be in my boring house with my boring friends and relatives.

On the other hand, it was snowing outside. We were having a white Christmas. Bah, humbug. Bad weather is what it is, the kind that clots white cold stuff in your paw pads. Unacceptable. I would wait until the weather humans came to their senses to go out, I had decided.

That was before I heard the prancing and pawing of each little hoof, apparently coming from up on my roof. I sat down to think, curling my tail around my front paws, my calm pose betrayed only by a slight flick at the creamy end of my plumy appendage. There were stockings hung by the propane stove with care, but a trip down that chimney would be disastrous for anybody, since they’d just end up inside the stove and wouldn’t be able to get out. I considered waking my mother for a further explanation of the powers of Santa Claws. But then I thought that if anyone would know what was going on, it would be Rocky. I jumped onto the kitchen counter and stood against the corner cupboard. I am a very long cat, even without taking my tail into account. My front feet could just reach the top cabinet, where Rocky liked to lurk during the day. Inserting my paw beneath the door’s trim, I pushed. It smelled like vampire cat in there, but not as though the vampire cat was actually in there. Rocky was out. Well, it was night. He wouldn’t mind the snow.

Some more scrabbling on the roof, and I suddenly thought, what if Rocky has Santa Claws and is feeding on him? He might. He was my friend, but he was definitely no respecter of age, gender, or mythological belief system.

I bolted out my private entrance. Only Rocky and I were able to come and go through that new cat flap that had been installed for me since my last adventure. I had a chip in my neck that activated it. Rocky had my old collar containing a similar chip, the one I’d worn before I went to the vet and got tagged.

The cold air hit me with a shock, and the snow wet my pink paw pads, though the heavy tufts of fur between them formed natural snowshoes. I was a very convenient breed of cat for this climate, actually. Maine Coon cats, or their undocumented relatives like me, were built for cold and wet and according to the Critter Channel, used to be ships’ cats on Viking vessels. I didn’t mind a nice trip around the bay on a nice day, but this snow stuff wasn’t my cup of—well, snow.
Links for the book: http://www.amazon.com/Christmas–Spam-Christmas-Adventures-Emancipated-ebook/dp/B007307Q52/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353690667&sr=8-1&keywords=Father+Christmas+Spam+the+cat%27s+first+christmas